Self improvement

I have a confession to make... I'm not as good as I used to be. "In what way?" I hear you cry. Well, it struck me today that I've not done a serious piece of exercise since I moved to Brighton 7 weeks ago.

It's true, I've brought my bicycle along and I use it to get around every now and then, which does go some way to maintaining some level of fitness, but considering how active I used to be I've reached a new low.

I have, inevitably, come up with a theory (read: excuse) why this has happened. It's because I don't feel threatened. I don't feel like I have any competition, therefore I do not try to match/better another athlete.

For example, when I lived in Somerset I liked to think of myself as rather fit and active, but along came a new member of staff who competed at a national level in cycling, the sport I considered to be my forte. Needless to say I got back on the bike more often once I discovered that I was no longer the queen bee and benefited greatly from it.

A similar situation occurred this summer. It had been a while since I went for a swim (dreadlocks didn't lend themselves to aqua-dynamic performance) but I was a reasonably strong swimmer in my youth so, when asked by a friend if I wanted to join them on a morning session in the pool, I didn't think much of it. How the years have been unkind to me and my lungs! My friend, who I considered an equal back in the day, swam circles around me.

The pattern holds true for my work too. At the start of the course I knew I would be on the back foot having no previous experience on journalism, save this sporadic outpouring into the ether. So I tried my hardest, studied every night and kept on top of the work. However, now I have established myself in the top sector of the class (based entirely on test results) I no longer feel the pressure to perform, ergo I slack off.

This resulted in a rude awakening when I got my dates mixed up and arrived unprepared for a major test earlier this week. Not a surprise, then, that I flunked it and as a result self esteem is back down to early course levels. Needless to say this has restored my energy with regard to work and will hopefully pay dividends in the exams which are less than a month away!

I hope that the bruising of my ego will be a lesson to me and all who follow me (that's you!)

On a positive note this method of motivation has inspired me to play the piano and trombone more and I will give my first public solo trombone performance since my first year at university the day after tomorrow. Every cloud...